EriqX / Journal 2006

30-DEC-2006

I will attempt to remember the various events of the last several days in somewhat proper order.

I began my temporary assignment doing data entry for a machine shop. Essentially, it was myself, along with 3 girls sitting in a room. We filed things and entered them in the computer, and came up with better ways to keep filing things. It took about a day to realize the project was going to take considerably less than 3 weeks, which is what we were all told to expect. Toward the end of the week, I was advised that I would be brought back for a second week, alone. The girls were only on for one, and there was some additional work for me only. Apparently, I impressed someone as the guy who learned how to use their computer systems the fastest. Not that it was anything difficult for most of us. The second week was intensely boring. With no one to talk to, and a new, considerably uncomfortable workstation, I typed and clicked my way through some tedious Office Space-like monotony. Several instances presented me with the desire to kill myself rather than trudging on, but I made it through the second week somehow. The project at that time was going to extend itself into another week, but I received the call from my previously mentioned job interview, informing me I was hired.

So now it's the weekend. I will not be returning to the temporary data entry suicide watch. Instead I start my new, full-time, permanent job on Tuesday, the day after New Year's Day. I'm looking forward to returning to a normal scheduled life. With a normal and steady income. Not to mention a sense of self-worth that is easily avoidable when one is jobless. The new job is the same as the old one, essentially. Different company and different product, but same position. I'm also working downtown now, so there is no more commute out of the city. I'm extremely excited about this, since I have never in my 8 years of career-hopping been able to avoid a nasty commute. Mostly due to my tendency to live where I love to live, no matter where the jobs are. I've finally managed to sync those two up. The added plus of saving a lot of gas, as well as the planet appeals to me also. My new schedule is nearly the same as it was before, so I won't be making any major adjustments there. All in all, things are looking up.

As a matter of unfortunate timing, the same 4 days of my second week doing data entry were the same 4 days that Jill and Dawn came into town. They both currently live in Spokane, and were in Madison visiting their family. They stayed with me Tuesday through Friday, the days following xmas. I had a great time catching up with them, it was as if they never left. They spent their days hopping about Milwaukee and reconnecting with other people they knew, and each night we went out to one of their favorite Milwaukee restaurants and bars, making certain they both got the full Milwaukee experience before returning home. I'm sad to see them go after such a short visit. But I'm always happy for any chance to see old friends. It was nice to put the spare bedroom to use too. Some of the perks of being a homeowner are starting to present themselves.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Mo and I will be attending the get together at Mike and Jessica's home in Madison. I'm looking forward to drinking less than I have in the past, and welcoming another year. I feel like despite my obvious recent setback, I've accomplished a lot in 2006. Let's hope next year is the same or better.

15-DEC-2006

The results of my previously mentioned job interview are still unknown, and I have been told to expect some possible information next week. That leaves me to this weekend, after which I'm staring a temporary position doing data entry for 3 weeks. After that, I'm either back where I was, or I'll be lucky enough to have secured the job. Meaning I'll have continued employment through the temp position and on to full time work again. That would be optimal, and I'm hoping for the best.

For whatever reason, accepting the temp assignment today felt more like a defeat than a step in the right direction. At the moment I find myself intensely depressed, for no obvious reason other than my ongoing situation. Which I should be used to by now anyway. The assignment pays well, so I'll be doing better than I am currently on unemployment. But there isn't much cause for joy when I may be back where I am now at the end of the 3 weeks. For the most part, everything is still uncertain. I also feel like a hired goon. I tend to take pride in whatever work I'm doing, and I'm sure things will be no different for my short time doing data entry. But I have enough smarts and abilities to feel severely underutilized typing all day. I couldn't even get through the temp agency's typing test without doubling their minimum speed requirement. I suppose if really was a total jag I would have turned my nose up to it. But I'm not, and I didn't. And I'm sure it will be nice to have to actually get out of bed each day for a while.

Yesterday, when I was nowhere near depressed, I spent the entire day cleaning and organizing the house. I've got the butterfly room, which was previously a junk pile, tidied up into a functional spare room for when Jill and Dawn visit over xmas. I cleaned and organized another insane pile of junk in the basement and neatly shelved it away, making room for my future work-out area. I'd like to finish that today, since there isn't much left to do.

Tomorrow is Mo's graduation dinner. As well as Michelle's. And also John is throwing a random party that I'd like to attend. I don't know how I'm going to fit all of those in tomorrow night, but I'll at least give it my best effort. As for now, despite my emotional barricade, I suppose I should try to enjoy the weekend. Seeing as though it is actually a weekend, and I do actually have to work on Monday. For a change.

13-DEC-2006

I feel a small obligation to ramble on here about typical things, unrelated to the job drama. So I'll get the job drama out of the way first, and move along.

I had an interview a few days ago and I'm currently waiting to hear back. It's a big company, and it's so close to home I could probably run there. On those notes, I'm hoping to hear good news. I really don't enjoy looking for employment, and for the most part I want to get this part of my life over with. So here's hoping I get that call soon. And get on with my life.

Last night was TNM. It was the 3rd since re-launch and the 83rd ever. I'm having a good time pushing it back into the circle of social happenings. And a great time reconnecting with a lot of people I haven't been able to see in a long time. I've been "safe" on the movies I've been showing so far, meaning that I had seen them and knew they were TNM material. But starting next week I'm going to branch out into new territory. Movies will still fit the TNM mold I try to present, but they won't always be tested before hand. They will of course be heavily researched, but I don't have a ton of time anymore to watch everything twice.

Aside from the weekly movie night, I still haven't had a lot to show for my extra time. I've been working on the house in small unnoticeable ways, and reading a lot. But that's about it. I'm sure I'll look back on this and wish I was more productive with my time. But at the moment, I really just want and need to be working again. Obviously I'll let you know when that happens.

05-DEC-2006

The good parts of the last two weeks have been few and far between. I've been job hunting and a few options are being pursued at the moment. Nothing special, but what is? WIthout getting too wishy-washy, I can state without exaggeration that I truly loved my job. That's a hard thing to explain to people, most of which hate all 40 hours of their work weeks with every fiber of their being. It's even harder to explain that to people after explaining what it is I actually did each day.

The past two weeks have been something of a blur. I still don't quite realize that I'm never going back there to resume my daily routine. I also don't know what I'm facing yet. Somewhere out there is another office or store or company that's going to bring me on board, and quickly realize that I'm fucking good at whatever the hell it is they are going to have me do. That, and I'm fucking crazy in a pleasure to have around the office sorta way. My only concern is will I actually like it? I've been good at every job I've ever had. So true that I don't mind saying it or sounding like an ass when I do. The problem remains that my past job - the only one I've ever lost - is the only one I've ever liked. Everything else just pays the bills, and slightly erodes my soul in a comfortable, daily grind sort of way. Odds are in favor that the next one will fall into that ominous yet accepted soul-crushing category, and not into the delightfully unexpected one-in-a-million random finds.

A small percentage of my overall stress was relieved the other day when unemployment was approved. I now get to feel like a loser and a tax burden at the same time. Even so, it's one less concern at the moment. I'll be able to maintain a semi-normal existence in respect to paying the mortgage and car, and buying food. Only remaining concern is securing that next love it or hate it job. Or maybe the next chapter is something else entirely.

02-DEC-2006

Aside from losing my job this past Monday, I have had a rather uneventful week. I've spent the time drifting in between a chaotic depression and the pathetic optimism that everything will turn out fine or possibly better. Having nothing to do whatsoever on a daily basis has its high points of course. But I'm not so interested in spending my endless down time thinking about how things could have turned out instead. I find my outlook at the moment to be in extreme despair. And no matter how well I hide it, or sound like I'm getting through it all with a wounded but repairable attitude, you'd be stupid to fall for my guise.

19-NOV-2006

I can feel my heart beating in my stomach. I've been like this for about 24 hours now. Using the least amount of information I can share possible, I fucked up a bit. And at this point I'm awaiting judgement. The consequences could be severe. Or they could be less severe, and for the most part survivable. I can't do anything at the moment but wait, and that's the part that's killing me. At this point I'd just rather know what's going to happen.

07-NOV-2006

Yesterday was my seventh day of work in a row. I agreed to a shift trade at the later part of October, because I'll end up getting next weekend off in full, rather than just Sunday. Now that I've got the hard part behind me, I just have my adjusted schedule for this coming weekend to look forward to.

I'm looking forward to slowing down a bit, not working so much and relaxing a lot more. I always have things to do, but I've been so busy lately that I'm going to need to take a little time to just chill out. In between the extra time at work, and the house, I've started looking for a car for Hannah. She's in the market. I've been keeping up with volleyball, and being extra careful with my limited funds. Otherwise there is nothing too exciting going on.

I'm looking forward to changing that with the re-launch of TNM, which I expect to get started in the next week or two. I'm not sure how well received the supposed second era of the successful 80-week strong original TNM will be. But I'm interested in trying. Mostly because it's a good time, and it's cheap entertainment with good company. I'm also anxious to get some use out of the house. I'm back home in my mind, but I haven't had a lot of traffic yet. I need to open the doors up again and make things feel a bit more social and a bit less isolated. I was never really one to not be overly-social.

I also want to start planning an official house warming party. Which is something I'll have to coordinate with Becky. I don't like parties in the winter, but that's the timing in this case. More news on that as it develops.

31-OCT-2006

Beginning with the house, because I really have nothing else to talk about at the moment, things are going well. The move took place with the help of just under ten people, which effectively made it feel more like hanging out than like moving. I spent the following days cleaning and organizing, and tending to the endless small details that pop up when you uproot your life and transplant it to another location. I still feel a bit displaced, but I'm certain as things progress and become routine that will remedy itself.

The other facets of my life have maintained their normal day-to-day flow. Work is good, the weather is getting damn cold, and the holidays are quickly approaching. I still harbor a certain sense of stress, mostly related to "always" having something to do in relation to the house, either financial or physical labor. But the worst is far behind me now.

I have been looking forward to some of the plus sides of being back home, including the re-launch of TNM. I'm laying low on that one for the moment, but I am compiling some mailing lists, and the next batch of movies to show. So when it becomes time to roll everything will be ready. That small task will move more quickly when I get my internet connection hooked up at the new house. Only two more days before that happens.

This upcoming weekend will hopefully include one or more Halloween parties, more and more work on the house, and some much needed down-time. I was originally looking forward to throwing a trademark Halloween bash this year, but that was when I thought I'd have been moved in much earlier. I'll look forward to next year at this point, but I'll still have some sort of housewarming party in the upcoming weeks. Details to follow.

So until that is squared away, and the other little bits of stress and distraction have settled down, I'll be pacing myself.

11-OCT-2006

Today is one month from my last update. Many close to me already know, and few who read these pages are already aware that the house thing went off better than expected. The requirements for closing were surprising lowered to nearly nothing, and for the most part, I showed up, signed a few things, and left with the keys. There is a near-surreal quality to that day and the days that have followed, as I had spent all my time and energy preparing for it. And, not so secretly, preparing for it to all go wrong. But it didn't, and as of this writing I've been a home owner for 2 weeks.

Those 2 weeks have somehow been just as nuts as the time leading up to close. Rather than cram overtime and save money, and worry over whether or not I'll ever become a home owner, I'm spending my days scraping off wallpaper, re-taping drywall, painting, carpeting, and changing doors and locks. In my opinion, the house was ready for moving in the moment the keys were in my hand. But there's a certain motivation for me to move into a home that feels more like "mine" than it does like someone else's. This, and the fact that it's much eaiser to paint and carpet a house that isn't full of furniture and people who have to live there. The process was going to be fairly streamlined, but as soon as I discovered the joys of wallpaper removal I realized it was going to take much longer than expected. Many things were dependant on other things getting done first, and so on.

But even so, those projects - at least the ones I considered important as a pre-move project - are now nearing completion. With painting about 80% done and carpeting scheduled, I'm spending my time tending to some of the smaller, more detailed chores. The rest of my projects list is going to be ongoing, and I'll give those attention once I actually move in.

Without making excuses, I can state that my lack of attention to maintaining this site, along wtih a number of other things in my life that are currently on hold, are all a direct result of spending my days obsessed with preping the house for my move. Either that, or my new financial responsibilities. Which for the most part I am actually handling very well, but I don't need to tell anyone who's been where I am now that buying a house is a hell of a way to blow some money.

This is so far, easily the biggest thing I've ever done. As I look back at the nearly two years of time, effort, and frustration that went into all this, and how it turned out, I truely wouldn't have it any other way. I somehow managed to get a house that I like, that suits me, in a neighnorhood that I've long considered home, and without a helping hand. (Minus, of course, the small avalanche of grants that I've qualified for.) I have this feeling that I have some work ahead of me, to get my Milwaukee life back to where I want it. But I'm looking forward to things yet to come.

11-SEP-2006

When I wake up each morning, and eventually regain consciousness, my eyes eventually wind up focusing on a small, handwritten sign that I attached to my bedroom ceiling weeks ago.

It reads, "work for house". And today is the first day in nine that I haven't done exactly that. I've just completed my 8-day work week, which included the holiday, and extra overtime whenever my body would allow it. I had intended to go in even today, but I think I need the day off. I'll be back at it tomorrow anyway.

My current state of tireless existence is mostly the product of being 17 days from closing on the house. Closing costs and the down payment are going to be possible, but will be taking their toll. Once that hurdle is behind me, I'll be facing the desire to paint, carpet, and overall spend money on improvements. I'll need to take it slow, and I know I'll have to control myself to accomplish that. The desire to get straight to work will be hard to fight. As with every other aspect of my life, I'm looking at the house as a project. Needless to say, I'm saving up big time, and working as much OT as possible between then and now.

Volleyball has started up again. Which is good, since I missed it. And I've been needing some physical activity with a vengeance. I've been absent from jujutsu ever since it became too difficult to juggle the money needed to fund it with the house purchase. Not an easy choice, but I'm certain that everything from my social life to my monetary cautions will be back to normal once I'm moved, and back home in Milwaukee. At least that's the plan.

31-AUG-2006

I'm not saying that I feel good, because I don't. I'm tired all the time. I have to summon unheard of amounts of energy in order to pull myself out of bed in the morning, no matter how long I had slept. I'm routinely dizzy and lightheaded. I have enough mental energy to function throughout the core of my day. Surrounding that, I'm in need of repair.

That said, good things are happening. Today I was informed that my home loan has gone over another hurdle, and as such has been granted "approved" status. For the most part, this means I'm good to go. I am however, still waiting out the approval of certain grants that will make the purchase more easy to digest. In addition to the grants I knew I was applying for, I now have an additional grant that's coming through. This one specifically goes toward any needed repairs, such as the garage roof which has been previously mentioned. Anything that needs to get done, that I don't have to pay for, is a big help. So overall, a plus in the house column for today.

A few days ago I received an email from a graphic design student at the Art Institute of California - San Diego. Her assignment is to choose a lesser-known graphic artist and emulate their artwork. She chose me. I happily accepted, and offered various bits of info from what inspires me, how I approach creating a piece, and my preferred techniques. I also posted a new piece of Photoshop Art that I had been working on at the time. I'm interested to see what another artist will create when trying to emulate my style.

So these things, although small, are currently good parts of my world. And so I keep going.

28-AUG-2006

First of all, Jessica and Mike are married. The past few weeks have marked the passing of the bachelor/bachelorette parties, rehearsal and dinner, and the big day itself. As Mike fairly warned me beforehand, it was intended to be a fun wedding, like no other. He was certainly correct in that statement. No previous wedding I've attended had so much activity, dancing, skits, and energy. Basically, a big party for everyone.

Today I met with Mary at Select Milwaukee again, this time to secure some new grants that I'm applying for "this time around". With my ongoing cautious optimism in place, I'm continuing to take this house thing one step at a time. Currently it's securing the needed grants. Next I'll be figuring out the garage-roof plans. I'm about one month away from the intended closing date. So I'll continue to keep my thoughts on other distracting things, and secure as much OT as my body and mind can handle.

20-AUG-2006

To begin, my previous entry explained that I was no longer looking for a house or condo to buy. And unless something fell out of the sky, an apartment was my next stop.

Something fell out of the sky. It's a 3 bedroom Cape, in Riverwest. It meets my general requirements for location, condition, style, and price. I'm happy with the find, however I now find myself back where I was before I "gave up". Stressed out.

The whole thing happened extremely fast. I was literally about the throw all that money at a motorcycle, when a little voice in my head told me to check for a house one last time. I put eBay on hold for a few minutes, went back to realtor.com for the first time in a month or so, and did one last search. Up popped this house, which looked good and sounded good, and was certainly not there before. I called Jodi, we looked at it. I liked it. I offered, they accepted. The whole process was a few days.

Now I'm back to obsessing over money, working extra OT, and running around faxing and signing things. I have to get a quote to have a new roof put on my potential future garage, which is not so much fun. I'm applying for and hopefully getting approved for misc. grants which will go toward the purchase. All these things are snapping me out of my previous comfortable position of giving up. But as everyone keeps telling me, it will all be well worth it.

Despite the previous four paragraphs, I really don't like talking about this house thing all that much. The previous entries here should probably explain that. I'm so turned off by the entire house-buying playground that I really don't expect this to work out. The last time I was this close they told me to fuck off 18 hours before I was supposed to close. Although my current offer has been signed and accepted. I'm still facing a number of requirements and things to get handled in order for everything to fall together. As I've mentioned again and again, I'm negative. I'll expect something to take this away from me too. Until those keys are in my hand, I'll remain cautiously optimistic about the whole thing.

On the non-house side of things, Mo and I recently visited the Wyalusing camp ground. It's positioned atop a series of cliffs overlooking the Mississippi and Wisconsin river valleys. The setting is beautiful, and it was a perfect place to get away from everything for a few days. When we got back it was mostly back to business though.

Which included Mike's bachelor and Jessica's bachelorette parties. Mo and I both attended, and had a great time. The two parties merged up toward the end of the night, in a hotel suite at the Ramada downtown. A lot of us ended up crashing there, and even though I was planning to work the next day, I ended up crashing too. The following morning we got started at Miss Katie's Diner, which I recommend.

That's most of it up to now. I'll be spending my upcoming energy and time on house details, and working as much OT as possible. And crossing my fingers.

06-AUG-2006

So much has happened since the last entry, there really is no way to catch up with any sense of detail. I'll try to cover the major items.

I've all but given up on purchasing a home this year. I'm so turned off by the entire process and my overall experiences that I don't want to have anything to do with it anymore. If something falls out of the sky tomorrow, I'll give it a shot. But I'm not exactly looking anymore. The condo was a major blow. The house that would have been 10 times nicer than the condo, that I missed by 3 hours was worse. Nothing that could match either has come along since. I'm looking in a part of town that is nearly impossible to find a nice place within my spending range. Somehow I did it twice now, and both fell through.

This morning it was raining when I woke up. I was supposed to go to work today, but I felt physically destroyed when I first woke. Much like I did yesterday. It was late, and I wasn't going to make it in time anyway, so I called in. I've spent the first part of the day reliving yesterdays dreary depression, sitting around and wishing I felt better.

I've realized on many occasions that living in a basement is slowly destroying me, and at all costs I must escape as soon as possible. That possibility was once slowed down by the cautious optimism that kept me house hunting. That optimism is gone, and I feel better now that it is. As I am not an optimistic person, and holding on to any thoughts that things will somehow work out is extremely alien to me. My intention to escape from the underground was boosted this morning when I didn't even know it was raining until I fumbled my way upstairs. Waking up to the rain and lying there listening to it must be one of the best feelings. I don't exactly get those sorts of connections down here.

I'm looking to rent soon. I'm patient with the process, as I've spent more than enough time here looking for something to buy. Another few weeks or months isn't exactly gonna throw me off. That, and I may as well rent something nice, that I'll enjoy living in until the next option to buy presents itself.

Last week I completed my motorcycle safety class at MATC. The class was a lot of fun, and I certainly recommend it to anyone. I've been considering a bike for a while now, mostly to combat gas prices. But that's not to say I'm not looking forward to the fun aspect of it. I've been winning/losing and bidding around on ebay for a handful of old Yamahas. Nothing has come of it yet though.

Mike and Jessica have moved out to Cottage Grove, WI. Their new place is quite nice. It's got a theater which I hope will be put to good use. The drive, as with the drive to see Matt in Chicago, and Mo in Oshkosh, blows. But that's another item that a potential motorcycle could solve. At least for summer.

Actually, the drive to Oshkosh isn't on the list anymore. Mo is moving to Milwaukee tomorrow. I'm driving up to help her later today. One last visit to Oshkosh, one last stop at Fratello's for some beer and grillin'.

Today is Dawn's birthday. As well as Hiroshima day. Happy birthday, Dawn.

16-JUN-2006

In short, the house hunting is slow, discouraging, and overall extremely depressing. I left work the other day to look at two homes, a one bedroom and a three bedroom. Both for the same price, both in the neighborhood I want. Previously aware of the one bedroom, and not giving it much consideration from the start, I was surprised when I pulled up and it was beautiful. After further inspection, it was perfect in and out. And I wanted it.

When I got serious, moments after completing the tour, we found that an offer had been placed hours earlier. My decision to hold off on hunting by one day turned out to be a life-changer.

I haven't seen anything since. And I'm not looking all that hard. I'm still in the basement. Still saving money. Still pretty much pissed about the whole thing.

08-JUN-2006

The house-hunting has become more or less a slow, painful, annoying process. In the days since Fuck-Tard Realty decided to pull the plug on their River Rise Condo's, which as of this writing are still being advertised on their site, I have been checking out a few houses in the area. None of which have impressed me. My options seem to include buying a nice little condo in an area I don't want to live in, or a dumpy little house in an area I do want to live in. Dumpy little houses have their advantages, namely the grants that would get them in better shape - and worth more - in short time. In either case, the only problem seems to be money. If I had some, problem solved. Since I don't, I'll continue to tour unimpressive houses and wish that as of a week ago, I was in my own place again. Something I desperately need more and more each day.

Since this would be a depressing entry if I just stopped there, I'll go ahead and mention that ILH is going to be featured on G4TechTV Canada's show, Torrent, in less than two hours of this writing. Torrent is not something I'm directly familiar with, as I don't receive Canadian TV down here in the states. From the looks of the website, it's a show that features a handful of interesting podcasts hosted by a pretty girl. I will assume this means the great land of Canada has embraced our geeky weekly cast, and good things will come. Well, maybe.

31-MAY-2006

It's amazing how long a day can take. This particular day for instance, has been a slow eternity. For a moment, that was due to the fact that it was the day before closing. That moment is over. When graduating from renter to home owner was still an inevitable happening, looming ominously over the horizon, time was crawling. This perception of eternity was jolted slightly when the possibility of not actually closing tomorrow was introduced. This was due to the fact that some paperwork was still being processed. The simple delay of one day would have more or less shot to hell my carefully scheduled off days, painting days, moving days, truck rental, helping friend confirmations, and other odds and ends.

But it matters not. After an hour or so of what the burly men would call a gut instinct, and the more ethereal would call an intuition of sorts, I got the call that changed it all. The developer decided due to lack of interest in their project (I was the only closer in the building so far), that they were simply going to pull the plug. The condo's will not exist, they will remain apartments. That's it. As I've mentioned, I would have closed tomorrow.

The dizziness and general light-headedness I was already trying to fend off with excess sugar grew worse. And I've remained inactive for nearly the full remainder of my day. I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I feel defeated, weak, and furious.

The details of why this exact condo, and none other was (in my mind) perfect for me, are long and boring. So without delving into such rambles, I will go on record now in saying that I do not usually expect things like this to work for me. And this is exactly why. Of course I'll keep looking, but the same details I'm not going into are going to work against me on this one. My income is limited, and the resources available to the average working American with the average American debt are scarce. I fought long and hard just to get this far. And this was truly my final option.

29-MAY-2006

Somehow I've managed to squeeze a large amount of social activity into the last week or so. Each event ranging from saying goodbye to a friend, saying hello to an old friend. And as usual, hanging out with friends. As I've held a generally low-profile during my "transition" time in Greendale, it's felt overly nice to be so busy.

First I attended Rachel's goodbye party. Rachel started working at my current employer the same time I did. A year and a half later, she's making a move to San Diego. We've made a plan to keep in touch online and keep sharing new music with each other, which is a general obsession we both share. If I'm overly ambitious, I'll maybe finish the pink duct-tape wallet I was supposed to make her. It could happen.

After saying goodbye to Rachel, I said hello to Willow for the first time in three years. Last time I saw her, she still went by Laura, and had yet to venture out to North Carolina, which she now calls home. Willow introduced me to Cyprus, her 17 month-old son. He's cute, and eerily smart for someone who just learned to walk. We spent a day hiking around some trails in a Germantown park, and getting something to eat at Roots in Milwaukee. As she said herself, it's a bit of a time-warp hanging out. We were slightly different people when we knew each other. But it's nice to have people from your past you can still call friends.

A few nights ago I went out with Mo, Eric, and a 14-person strong convoy of moviegoers, to see X-Men 3. I liked X2 better, but 3 was still good. We stayed all the way through the end credits, as rumor had it we were supposed to do. After the flick, we all ended up at Highland House, which I have to say was a great place. Tasty appetizers and alcohol finished off a full evening of good company.

As I write this, I'm 3 days away from closing on my new condo. I assume if anything was going to delay that, I'd have heard about it by now. So, my typically negative approach to important things aside, I expect everything to go as planned. The final hitch was a quick fax from my employer to the loan officer containing income and employment verification. That was delayed on Friday, and due to the holiday, should be in the right hands by tomorrow. Let's hope.

In an act of general optimism, I went to Home Depot this morning with Mike and picked out my paint for the new place. Knowing me, I'll post some before and after pictures on the site, as I have interesting plans for my new home. And I tend to look at everything as a project.

Obviously I've been falling into a general habit of neglect in regards to this site, something I don't expect to be reversed anytime soon. Hopefully with summer around the corner, and my tendency to use that time for projects, I'll be able to create some excuses for additional content. Time will tell.

In a last second bit of interesting news, ILH is getting a little spotlight time in Canada. G4TechTV Canada has a show called Torrent, which features info on various Podcasts. We were contacted by some people at Torrent who wanted to air one of our episodes. We gladly agreed. Who knows how many people are going to be introduced to out little side-project once it airs next week. It's weird and exciting all at once I guess.

09-MAY-2006

These days I pretty much have condo on the brain. I've been getting home inspections, paying hefty down payments, signing things and faxing them, emailing people and setting up appointments. It's a hell of a lot of work, and I can see why most people just settle for renting. Less to worry about by far.

The upside is that nearly every aspect of this home buying process has turned out to be better than I thought. My closing costs are considerably low. I got to pick my parking slot yesterday, which means I picked the best one. I'll have room for a motorcycle and then some, which is my other goal for this year.

First things first though. My next items on the list are getting proof of home owners insurance for the closing date, which is at the end of this month, and filling out my grant applications through Select Milwaukee.

Other than all that excitement, I can't say I've been doing too much lately. As has been the case lately, this site has been suffering. My creative drive is on hold these days, every thought I have is something condo related. I'll get through this though. Once I have a home again, things will come back into focus.

25-APR-2006

The trouble with lengthy gaps between entries, is that I can't remember everything that happened. Meaning first that information will be left out, and second that what I do remember will be hastily summarized or glossed over.

The last time I bothered with this web page, my cat had just died. It took me about a week to cry over it. I think life and the daily requirements it poses can often be invasive. So to the point that emotion gets put on hold, unless completely overwhelming. When it finally came, it hurt. And as I remember it, I couldn't hear out of my left ear for 30 minutes or so after. A scary but temporary moment, and overall a good thing, putting to rest a great deal of sadness and moving forward.

Forward, in my case, is primarily concentrating on moving. I've over-loaded my mental threshold for basement life. And as everyone knows, I've been dedicating time and energy into purchasing a home. I've searched and researched, called, been called, stumbled and toured. So far, the dice that determine my financial abilities along with my willingness to live in this neighborhood or that, have been coming up short. With, in my opinion, a single option left, I will shortly find out if I can afford to make an offer on a modest one bedroom condo in Milwaukee's Riverwest area. Not the biggest or nicest place I could hope for. But, essentially it's all I need. When I lived in a very small apartment on the East Side, I was quite happy. I think this new option will most closely mimic that home, more so than any of my others.

Last week someone long missing in my life suddenly resurfaced. The following exchange caught me up on what seems like an entire lifetime missed. I'm still digesting a lot right now, and I am so happy that you are doing well.

After several years of saying I would, I finally signed up for motorcycle classes. They will run from late July to early August, and once complete I will be a legally licensed cyclist in the state of Wisconsin. It's unfortunate that it took me this long. But I look forward to having more fun while driving, and wasting less gas doing it.

I'm signing off now. In the last few days I've begun to experiment with valerian root, in a last-ditch effort to curb my serious struggle with insomnia. Last week it kept me exhausted and awake for 4 days. The western end of insomnia relief shut me down like a switch. But the groggy aftereffects that would remain with me through the following days were becoming harder than the sleepless nights. Valerian is natural, and so far I'm pleased to report that it works just fine with out the fuss of coma-like mornings. Here's to the cure.

27-MAR-2006

Sigma died. He was my cat for 10 years, and shared 6 different homes with me in that time. I brought him home when I was 16, without my parents permission, stating that he needed a home. Promising I would find him one, I kept him for myself. He was too young to be away from his mother, and imprinted on me immediately.

When he was a 3 week old kitten, I had to chew his food for him during the trip back from Indiana where I got him. There wasn't a kitchen around to make that salty task any easier or more pleasant. When he got older, he seemed to take on many aspects of my personality. And it was almost as if he was the "cat version" of myself.

He was generally apathetic to his surroundings, and for the most part did what cats usually do. One of the best things I remember was his strange habit of waiting until I was done eating to finish my plate. I usually let him lick my dishes after a meal - which certainly didn't help him slim down any - but even when I did so, he would sit patiently on the table next to me and wait until I nudged the plate toward him. I could even get up for more milk and come back, and he would still be sitting there, knowing I wasn't giving him permission to finish up yet.

Over the course of those 6 houses, he had a handful of cat-roommates. He seemed to get along with all of them. He was very calm and tranquil. Other than his handful of attempts to kick my girlfriend out of the bed so he could sleep next to me, he never raised a paw. He even liked mice.

I will miss him for a very long time.

14-FEB-2006

I forgot I had windows in my bedroom. It's a basement, and the blinds are always closed. I guess you overlook things if you don't use them for a while. That, and I have a strong preference for operating in the dark. I find the darkness calming, I guess. In the sense that I suddenly feel captive in this tiny room, I have been plotting my emancipation. Today's hefty paycheck took care of a large portion of debt, leaving almost nothing. There's a white board in my room with a large list of things I meant to accomplish when I first moved down here. All but one now remain. The progress I've made in this last year is encouraging, and it's all leading up to the next move. The condo.

Taxes will eventually come back, and at that point I'll have little left to take care of other than moving into a new home. What type of home is still up in there air. Where I want to live is still being considered. When I'm actually getting this handled is unknown, but it's getting closer and closer.

Until then, I'm just trying to keep sane and enjoy it all. I didn't get the mentorship position at work, which I found extremely disappointing. But not much can be done about it. At this point I'm taking it easy for my on-hours. And even easier on my off-hours.

I've recently been working hard on "neXt", which will be the first full revision of EriqX[.com] since it launched on December 5th, 2002. I have Mike to thank for re-kindling my interest in web design. He introduced me to WordPress, which is a useful PHP back-end blogging template. I'm not a huge fan of anything involving the word "template", but this is highly customizable. I've already cranked out a great layout for v2. I have a few bugs to work out, a few design issues, even less layout issues, and finally I'll have to move all of the contents of this site over. That's a huge undertaking, but the site will be sharper, smoother, and easier to maintain when it's all done. That, and I will be able to add some nice new features too. I'm looking forward to it.

This weekend is over now, and it moved very fast. I went to Rock Bottom for their annual fund raiser with Matt, Mike and Jessica. Afterward Mo joined us for the Battlestar miniseries, which was good. The next day I bumbled around and got some needed things out of the way. Then volleyball. Today I got two jujutsu lessons behind me, and finished off at Node for some coffee with Scott. If you have the means, try the White Noise, itŐs white chocolate and mint with coffee. Damn good.

30-JAN-2006

As is usually the case between longer gaps in journal entries, a lot has happened. And perhaps more importantly, I've forgotten most of it.

The condo hunt has become more debated, and more confusing. At this point I'm weighing the pros and cons of condo vs. house. It's a tight match too. The financial end of it met with some excellent news today, when the only bad thing on my credit report got kicked off. I still have 30 days to wait for the effects to settle in, but even so, I'm rejoicing. At this point I have to remain patient I guess, and keep saving until the right moment to apply presents itself. Things are continuing to move in the right direction.

I'm a month into my new rotating schedule at work. I like it. Everything else on the work front is good as usual. I'm interviewing for a mentorship position in a week or so. I don't know what to expect from that, so I'll update when I do.

I spent as much time this past week with Mo as I could. She was in town between semesters. I had some overtime at work and some other obligations, but we were as productive as possible.

Today is the last day of my 3-day weekend. I'm trying to get some basic chore-type stuff done. I'm cleaning and paying bills for the most part. The upcoming week will mostly consist of work. Beyond that, I'm looking forward to an upcoming beer brewing / ILH episode next weekend.

09-JAN-2006

I tend to reject making resolutions. This is mostly due to the fact that I don't think coordinating goals with the orbit of the earth has much use. Certainly no more or less than simply having those same goals in the first place. Admittedly, somehow, the beginning of a new year seems to have a refreshing, optimistic feel to it. I almost feel like sitting down and planning.

I'm going to relax though. Everything I set up in 2005 is going to come to fruition this year. The various elements that will contribute to getting into a condo/house are nearing completion. Debt is nearly zero, credit score is up. Credit report is getting fixed. Savings are up. It won't be much longer until the only remaining task is actually finding a place. I suppose that will be the fun part.

My horoscope this morning said that money concerns exist, but worrying about them now would be a waste of valuable time. Or something along those lines. This was the perfect day for that little blurb. I'm basically waiting for a paycheck to come. Not cause I need it, but cause I'm anxious to put it toward some of these goals. I'm also waiting for a balance transfer to go through. As well as a little blip on my credit report to disappear. All of these things are a week or so away. All of these things are nearly the final step in my year long battle to get on top of my situation. It's crazy to think that everything I've been working for is this close.

So those thoughts on record, I have no specific resolutions this year. I just have the same general goal in mind. Better myself and my situation. This is the first year in 4 or 5 that Mike, Matt and myself have not set ourselves aside at the New Years party and expressed that this would be "the year". I think the fact that we skipped that little tradition is either a good sign or an acceptance of defeat. I guess I'll find out.