EriqX / Quotes

"Dude, let me the fuck in!" - Dawn G

"I never run out of ideas. I just run out of time." - Eriq

"You're not a dork, you're just on the ball." - Cheri J

"Yesterday I didn't know who I was. Today I am afraid of who I am." - Eriq

"I love me some cock, ok?" - Carrie S

"Dude, nougat's new-age. It's on the rise." - Barry N

"That would be horrible, trying to hit on me through gardening." - Willow S

"I'm not too anxious to abandon people. It's only a matter of time before they abandon me." - Eriq

"We totally should go and like, raise some hell." - Becky N

"Ooooh! I wanna dead princess!" - Eriq

"This is totally gonna help my world of piracy." - Scott B

"I wanna go out and stab people with my stabby stick." - Carrie S

"Everything will be fine now that I have a shredder." - Eriq

"Eh, as long as someone gets hurt, I'm happy." - Mike S

"Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha! Shit." - Mike S

"It's all plastic, zero fun." - Eriq

"If you declaw my cat I'll cut off your finger tips and your toes. And your nose, cause that's extra credit." - Jessica S

"We're destroying your childhood memories and we demand refreshment." - Eriq

"Does anyone wanna come over here and smell this?" - Matt B

"Feet are gross. There's a reason they're wrapped up in socks and put in shoes" - Barry N

"Damn, my head itches, and I feel weird looking." - Carrie S

"Mmmm...lucrative." - Matthew J

"I've got something you'll wanna see, it will disgust you." - Matt B

"Who's callin' who's beer cute?" - Michelle A

"Now there's two kinds of sex!" - Ian T

"Strawberry banana is the worst crime against strawberries." - Ian T

"I like bacon, I don't care if it's not sausage." - Jessica S

"May we never wonder what could have been." - Eriq

"I don't need a reason to go somewhere and do nothing." - Ian T

"I have never - ever had to explain the concept of currency to a customer before." - Trevor E

"I've got a craving for some appetite." - Eriq

"This unit not available for individual retail sale, and that's why I didn't pay for it." - Eriq

"Oh my god - this mouse has a ball in it!." - Eriq

"Thank you. Please just put that on my 'to don't' pile." - Eriq

"It's artificial flavoring and salt, I should like this." - Trevor E

"So, lard is vegan, right?" - Eriq

"They had these two scientists... well, two guys in lab coats anyways." - Ian T

"I also have the [olsen twins] calendar. They help me through the weeks." - Michelle P

"It's not a vacation unless you're running to the American Embassy." - Brian M

"At least urine is sterile. Who the hell wants a fuckin' Corona?." - Eriq

"I have to learn all the penis words in French, that could come in handy" - Michelle A

"Bilingual death warnings - that's great!" - Cheryl A

"Reed spelled backwards is deer!" - Trevor E

"Oh man, that was so dumb. I think Eriq would like it though." - Mike S

"It's like a blowgun, without the blow, or the gun." - Scott B

"I'm fucked up in a good way!" - Jenny G

"You're gonna love the equipment in my bedroom." - Eriq

"Man! Why is ice cream stronger than steel?" - Ian T

"Can I have one of those pens back that I threw at you?" - Trevor E

"I just need to know that when I break something, I'm breaking something good" - Mike S

"It looks like a dominatrix exploded in my bedroom." - Eriq

"It's only a cool name if it has umlauts in it." - Matt B

"There is no tech support on crap you buy off of my desk." - Eriq

"Mmmm... Questionable beefstick." - Trevor E

"If I have to sacrifice the structural integrity of these crackers to open this package, I am going to be very upset." - Eriq

"If God didn't want us to kill babies, he wouldn't have made them out of stem cells." - Ian T

"I will never mistake a girl who turns into a werewolf for anyone other than herself." - Ed P

"That's like the little cherry on top of a rotting sundae corpse." - Eriq

"Kenny G is like Michael Bolton if he shut up." - Eriq

"She almost no-hashbrowned me!" - Mo A

"Ow! My bowels!" - Jessica S

"Don't worry Eriq, you're smooth. Smooth like toast." - Betsy M

"It makin' swirl in the middle. I talk good." - Carrie S

"Damn you toast, and your bendy-ness." - Eriq

"Look, I don't have 2-D abilities." - Rachel F

"I don't like cats that struggle." - Jessica S

"Boca's just a topping for my cow." - Scott B

"If you collect anything you're a dork, if you make it your lifes work, you're a geek." - Rachel F

"I've never associated 'gallons' to bottles of beer before." - Sean H

"Beaker rocks. He's my favorite muppet cause he's so retarded." - Rebecca M

"It's a Motorola. That big 'M', is for NO!" - Scott B

"Yep, put thirty bucks in the gas tank, increased the overall value of the vehicle by 10%!" - Eric S

"Once a decision has been made, who cares if it's stupid or not?" - Mike S

"Eh. He'll verb anything." - Matthew J

"Oh man, I've been craving coffee since......... I had it this morning." - Eriq

"Who's Cinco de Mayo? Was he a president or something?" - Swedleen M

"Putting strawberries on ice cream makes it healthier." - Eriq

"Dude, Eriq's body is a walking green tea bag." - KC

"I had the best burp ever the other day. It rattled the window. My downstairs neighbor called to ask if I was ok." - Carrie S

"Those people are so annoying. I just wanna learn how to drive so I can run 'em over." - Carrie S

"Stop! You're not a dinosaur!" - Colette S

"Yes, well I do prefer the taste of burnt." - Eriq

"She didn't get her toast. She will -never- get her toast." - Talia

"Chicken is like fish! ...but, not as fishy." - Amelia K

"You'll always be my minor." - Scott B

"I think that's beyond the scope of this project." - Mike S

"You know what would make this project really great? Explosions and lens flares." - Mike S

"I am a paper-aeronautical engineer." - Eriq

"I only speak the truth. Especially when it comes to such blatant foxiness." - Eriq

"That is hilarious! And inapproriate!" - Eriq

"You have psychological issues, it's not a big deal." - Eriq

"Peanut butter and jelly is much better than cigarettes." - Paul M

"Who would have thought we'd go down to the Katrina aftermath, and encounter a catagoy-5 stereotype." - Matthew J

"Custom Critical? Could something -sound- more expensive." - Matthew J

"Speaking of Coke, I'll have another beer." - Matt B

"Wow! What a corn-fed hero!" - Ian T

"If we ended up that cool, we'd be too cool." - Eriq

"I don't work at Walgreens. I'm from the hood." - Reese W

"I don't know whether to kill somebody or kill myself." - Brian M

"Dude, I'd put NyQuil in a shot glass. That'd be classy!" - Eriq

"That conversation made my forehead itch." - Carrie S

"Good job. Way to womanize our man show!" - Matt B

"I was body slammin' people. I got body slammed. Then I realized people started gettin' serious. So I got started usin' my finishing move." - KC

"You don't count. You know everything." - Hannah T

"I have a symmetry problem." - Anarita S

"I don't want a hooker. I know where to find one though." - Scott B

"Well, at least we have nice toilet seats." - Mario Q

"Oh man! What the hell is Jesus doing here?" - Eriq

"When I'm eating I don't say such stupid things. Cause my mouth is full of food." - Anarita S

"Super-fun happy time! Spread love between life partner and much happiness!." - Eriq

"We gotta crucify some more people. That way Jesus won't be so cool anymore." - Eriq

"I don't know their fuckin' names. I just know what their boobs look like." - Mike S

"My W has one too many W's in it." - Mike S

"You want that I should vomit on him?" - Mike S

"It feels like I just brushed my teeth, only deliciously!" - Hannah T

"Taste more like mango scented shampoo then it does like, mangos." - Michelle P

"So what? I'm a mean guy, I dont' care... I'm not mean to me!" - Mike S

"I don't know, maybe it's the Corona talkin'. But I just think it would be really fun to kick the shit out of a midget." - Brian B

"Why would anyone want a Chiuaua? It's like an annoying football." - Eriq

"Gosh, I'm so glad Battlestar is in our lives." - Jessica S

"I really have not had enough crepes tonight." - Matthew J

"You really should buy a condo. Or more underwear." - Mike S

"Eww! I don't know what that was, but it wasn't my pen." - Mike S

"I roll! Like a gravy train with biscuit wheels." - Dave N

"You need to move on to those rounded-edge cough drops. They're the latest in cough drop safety technology." - Eriq

"Damn, we are some Bluetooth-less bitches right now." - Scott B

"Our love is measured in the metric system, because it's a superior love." - Eriq

"Why do all these stupid hoodies have hoods?" - Jessica S

"Hey man, control is overrated. I'm personally a fan of losing it." - Eriq

"That smell hurts my eyes!" - Talia

"I'm gonna beat you with my thin client if you don't shut the hell up!" - Sarah L

"No! I'm too cold to put up my dukes." - Mo A

"Sometimes, when I get really depressed, and I think that killing myself isn't an option, I think I could just become a nun." - Becky N

"I'm unemployed, so I may as well be drunk too." - Michelle A

"Better to be fucked in the ass than fucked in the head." - Eriq

"This has too much meat for me. I get plenty of meat at home." - Jessica S

"The best things in life, have naked women on them." - Michelle P

"When I Google myself, your quotes page is the top result." - Michelle P

"Ha Ha! They crushed your plague dream!" - Jessica S

"Everything falls into place if you're willing to be stingy long enough." - Michelle A

"I often times nibble on my own company." - Eriq

"I have to get my ass off my butt." - Eriq

"I'll shave anything that walks by." - Mo A

"[Our spice scale] is 1 thru 10. And 3 is a medium." - Waitress at EE Sane

"I'm a sucker for hippies." - Michelle A

"If I'm gonna throw something up it may as well be cheap." - Sandy W

"You can get a lot of good ideas from me!" - Jessica S

"You can use your mouth to shut up!" - Jessica S

"Are you trying to have soda-can sex with me?" - Mike S

"I don't know how many gears this thing has but I think I found them all." - Eriq

"Cactus salad? Ouch." - James W

"This Frosty is so damn good I can taste Dave Thomas's soul." - Eriq

"Sometimes I wonder what's in DayQuil that isn't listed on the box." - Jennifer S

"Can you hear the noise my eye is making?" - Mo A

"That's the problem with diversity, most people suck." - Ian T

"Who wouldn't plot his death? I mean, I plotted his death!" - Matthew J

"I fucking love vitamins." - Carrie S